'In My Shoes' Information for Parents and Carers

Introduction to 'In My Shoes'

In My Shoes is:

• A 12-week social inclusion programme. It is designed for Year 4 and 5 classes in UK mainstream primary schools. It is linked to the PSHE curriculum
• Aims to support school participation and connectedness for all pupils, including neurodivergent pupils in the class
• A whole-class programme taught by the class teacher, covering one module each week
• For parents and carers to participate in too via weekly online information handouts, explaining the content of each module and suggesting opportunities to support your child’s learning at home

More about 'In My Shoes'

• Provided free to schools by arrangement with Fiona Nicholls, a PhD student at Northumbria University
• Developed by Fiona Nicholls (fiona.m.nicholls@northumbria.ac.uk)
• This material is provided for educational and non-commercial use only. The content may shared, distributed, and reproduced for educational purposes, provided proper attribution is given
• Commercial use, modification, or sale of this material is prohibited without prior written permission from the copyright holder

Information for Parents and Carers

'In My Shoes' aims to help your child with:

• Understanding differences - Learning that everyone experiences school differently and that’s OK! This includes learning about neurodiversity – although this abstract term is not used with the children
• Recognising strengths - Discovering their own strengths and appreciating that everyone has different strengths
• Helping others and asking for help - Building skills to notice when someone needs support, knowing how to help their classmates, and asking for help themselves
• Feeling included - Developing a stronger sense of being accepted, respected, and supported at school
• Showing kindness - Growing empathy skills and learning helpful ways to include everyone in class and playtime activities

What your child will do in ‘In My Shoes’:

• Learn to notice body language to understand how others feel
• Work out what others might be feeling or thinking
• Practise social problem-solving skills by deciding how to help friends feel included
• Watch animated characters showing different situations
• Develop social problem-solving skills by imagining “How would I feel in their shoes?”

Further information

Module 1: We are all part of our Class Community

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Recognise that it’s OK for everyone to think, feel and behave differently at school
• Appreciate why having people with different strengths in the class is a good thing
• Identify their own strengths and differences and see that their classmates have different strengths
• Celebrate what makes each person unique and how everyone makes the class better

At home, please reinforce this work by encouraging your child to:

• Share their class profile with you and talk about what they wrote
• Tell you which character they relate to most and why
• Think of additional strengths that they might have missed (you could say “I’ve noticed that you’re really good at…”)
• Talk about strengths and differences in your family – what makes each person who they are
• Notice ways that family members are similar and different
• If you have any questions about this module or want ideas to support your child’s learning at home, please contact your class teacher

Suggested reading books:

• All are welcome by Alexandra Penfold – a school where everyone belongs and celebrates together
• Our class is a family by Shannon Olsen – about classroom community and supporting each other
• Just Ask: Be Different, Be Brave, Be You by Sonia Sotomayor – Children with different abilities working together in a garden
• The Junkyard Wonders by Patricia Polacco – a class of diverse learners celebrating their strengths

Modules 2: Learning about Our Differences

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that everyone experiences school in different ways
• Explore how the characters experience school through their perspectives
• Value the individuality and strengths of every pupil
• Show empathy, respect and kindness towards all classmates

Ways to support learning at home:

• Talk about the characters by asking your child which character they connected with and what they learned about how different people experience school
• Use school language at home by trying to use phrases like, “Everyone experiences things differently” and “What helps you?” to create consistency between home and school
• Model your own experiences by sharing your feelings and challenges sometimes. This makes it more normal that everyone finds some things difficult and makes it safe for your child to share too
• Read together – explore books about differences, empathy and kindness. Your local library may have these available

Suggested reading books:

• Hey, Little Ant by Phillip and Hannah Hoose
• Thank You, Mr Falker by Patricia Polacco
• Cloud Boy by Greg Stobbs
• Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts

Module 3: 'Look, Think, Decide'

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that everyone sometimes needs help to learn new skills and participate at school
• Recognise and identify signs that a peer may be finding something difficult and need help at school
• Choose ways to take action to help peers in difficult situations at school
• Reflect on everyone’s role and ability to help each other participate and feel included

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Talk about what they have been learning in class
• Demonstrate their understanding of the ‘Look, Think, Decide’ principle (What can I see?; What does it mean?; What can I do?)
• Encourage their use of ‘Look, Think, Decide’ in real-life situations at home. This gives them opportunities to try the strategies in a safe environment and gain confidence in being able to apply the principle
• Read together – explore books about helping others, noticing when others need support and working together. Your local library may have these available

Suggested reading books:

• The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig
• You, Me and Empathy by Jayneen Sanders
• Kindness is my Superpower by Alicia Ortego
• Kind by Alison Green and Axel Scheffler

Module 4: Different ways to have a Conversation

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that different people feel comfortable in different ways during social interactions and conversations
• Question what “expected behaviours” really mean and who decides what’s expected
• Identify behaviours that genuinely help people feel comfortable, respected and included
• Recognise that there are many ways to show you’re listening, interested and friendly
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ to understand what helps different people feel comfortable and respected in social situations

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Talk about what they have been learning in class
• Celebrate your child’s communication style, talk about how they prefer to communicate and reassure them that there is no ‘correct’ way to have a conversation
• Practise using ‘Look, Think, Decide’ in real-life situations at home
• Read together – explore books about different communication styles. Your local library may have these available

Suggested reading books:

• I Talk Like a River by Jordan Scott
• A Boy Called Bat by Elana K Arnold
• A Day With No Words by Tiffany Hammond
• Can You See Me? by Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott

Module 5: Being part of a Group

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that people have different strengths, preferences and needs when working in groups
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ to recognise what helps different people contribute well in group work
• Identify strategies to make group work inclusive and comfortable for everyone
• Apply respectful ways to manage disagreements or different opinions in groups
• Recognise how groups can be flexible to include different working styles and preferences

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Practise ‘Look, Think, Decide’ during family activities. Help your child notice what each person needs to participate comfortably, think about why they might need this and decide how to include everyone
• Talk about group work experiences. Validate that everyone has different needs in groups and help your child identify what they need to contribute comfortably
• Model flexible teamwork at home by adapting to include different needs rather than expecting everyone to work in the same way
• Help your child see that people contribute to groups in different ways, and that all these contributions are equally valuable

Suggested reading books:

• Iggy Peck, Architect by Andrea Beaty
• The Butterfly Club by Jacqueline Wilson
• Stone Soup A classic folktale
• The Adventures of Team Pom: Squid Happens by Isabel Roxas

Module 6: Making our Classroom Work for Everyone

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that everyone learns differently and has different classroom needs
• Recognise that we all need support sometimes and we can all offer support to others
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ to understand what helps different people in learning situations
• Identify respectful ways to offer support and ask for support when needed
• Understand how to create a classroom where everyone feels comfortable learning

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Notice what helps your child learn best. Pay attention to when they focus well. Some children need quiet, others need movement, clear instructions, or creative tasks
• Make learning accessible at home. Create an environment that works for your child. This might mean a quiet space, allowing movement, breaking tasks into steps, or providing structure
• Everyone learns differently. Some people are good at reading, others at building, creating, or problem-solving and your child's way of learning is what is right for them
• Talk about school experiences. Ask what helps your child learn well and what makes it more difficult. If something is challenging, it's often about finding the right approach that works for them

Suggested reading books:

• Fish in a Tree by Lynda Mullaly Hunt
• A Kind of Spark by Elle McNicoll
• Aaron Slater, Illustrator by Andrea Beaty
• Brilliant Bea by Shaina Rudolph and Mary Vukadinovich

Module 7: Break Time for Everyone

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that pupils enjoy break time in different ways
• Recognise what different pupils might need for a good break time
• Identify how break time can work better for all pupils
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ to understand different break time needs
• Reflect on respecting different break time choices and preferences

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Talk about break time preferences. Ask your child how they like to spend their break time and listen without judgement. Discuss that it is OK for their friends to enjoy different activities.
• Validate different choices. If your child prefers quiet activities or playing alone at break time, reassure them that this is perfectly fine. Not everyone needs to be sociable all the time.
• Discuss respectful responses and talk about what to do if someone doesn’t want to join in a game. Practise saying “OK, maybe another time” and respecting different preferences without taking it personally.
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ at home. When your child mentions break time situations, use the framework, “What did you notice? What do you think was happening? What could help?”. This builds understanding of different needs.

Suggested Reading Books:

• The Boy at the Back of the Class by Onjali Q. Raúf
• The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson
• The Girl Who Speaks Bear by Sophie Anderson
• Wonder by R.J. Palacio

Module 8: Getting Along at Break Time

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand how to get along at break time when pupils have different needs
• Think about how people might feel in different break time situations
• Learn different strategies for getting along at break time
• Understand that different strategies work for different people

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Talk about different needs. When disagreements arise at home (between siblings, friends etc.), help your child to recognise that people often want or need different things, and that’s OK.
• Explore feelings together. Help your child to name feelings in everyday situations (their own and others’), such as ‘excited’, ‘worried’, ‘disappointed’, ‘happy’ or ‘confused’.
• Practise problem-solving. When minor disagreements happen, encourage your child to think of different solutions rather than immediately stepping in to fix it.
• Model saying sorry and accepting accidents. Show your child how to apologise when you make a mistake and help them understand that accidents happen and are not the same as deliberate mistakes.

Examples of books include:

• The Council of Good Friends by Nikesh Shukla
• Two Sides by Polly Ho-Yen
• Hetty and the Battle of the Books by Anna James

Module 9: How We React to Changes at School

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand that everyone reacts to change in their own way, and why changes might feel different for different people
• Notice different reactions to change and practise ways to support each other
• Explore what helps make school changes easier for everyone
• Think about their own reactions to change and what helps them

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Notice and name reactions to change. When changes happen at home, talk about how everyone reacts differently. “Dad gets excited about surprises while Mum prefers planning ahead”.
• Give advance notice when possible. Help your child feel prepared by talking about changes in advance. Use calendars or chat about what is happening tomorrow. Even small changes can feel big to some children.
• Talk about what helps. Ask your child what works well for them when things change. Celebrate their strategies like asking questions, taking time to adjust or staying flexible.
• Practise ‘Look, Think, Decide’ and use this framework together. “How are you feeling about this change? What might help? What could we try?” This builds confidence and problem-solving skills.

Examples of books include:

• Tom Gates: What Monster? (Book 15) by Liz Pichon
• The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson
• The House of Shells by Efua Traoré
• Ivy and Bean: Doomed to Dance (Book 6) by Annie Barrows

Module 10: How We Deal with Worry

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand what worry is and how it affects them.
• Recognise how thoughts influence feelings and actions.
• Use simple Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) tools to challenge negative thoughts and manage worry.
• Practise these tools and link back to the ‘Look, Think, Decide’ guiding principle.

At home, please reinforce this work by encouraging your child to:

• Talk about thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Your child has been learning that what we think affects how we feel and what we do. Try spotting this together using everyday examples.
• Practise coping strategies together. Your child has learnt four ways to manage worry: challenging worrying thoughts, deep breathing, positive visualisation and muscle relaxation. Ask them to share their favourite and try it together at home.
• Keep a coping diary. Encourage your child to notice when they used a coping strategy and how it went. For example, “I felt nervous, so I did my breathing and it helped.” This builds confidence.
• Use ‘Look, Think, Decide’ at home. If your child seems worried, gently help them to look at what they’re thinking, think about whether the worry is as big as it feels, and decide what might help.

Examples of books include:

• Test Trouble by Serena Patel
• Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook
• What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner
• Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Poppy O’Neill

Module 11: We Can Do Things!

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand what self-belief (believing in themselves) and a growth mindset mean and why they are important
• Know that they can achieve things through effort and persistence, even when something feels difficult
• Feel confident to join in and share their ideas in ways that work best for them
• Practise using ‘Look, Think, Decide’ to support themselves and others

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Talk about trying new things. Ask your child about something they have tried recently that felt difficult at first. Celebrate the effort they made not just the outcome.
• Use the word “yet”. If your child says, “I can’t do this,” try adding the word “yet.” This small change helps children see challenges as something to work towards rather than give up on.
• Share your own experiences. Tell your child about something you found difficult but kept trying. This helps children understand that struggling with something new is completely normal.
• Spot their strengths. Tell your child one thing they are really good at doing, or something they have done that made you proud. Hearing this from a parent or carer can make a big difference to how a child feels about themselves.

Examples of books include:

• Hey There! What’s Your Superpower? by Jayneen Sanders
• A Little Spot of Confidence by Diane Alber
• You are Awesome by Matthew Syed
• Reggie Houser has the Power by Helen Rutter

Module 12: How to Speak Up

In this module pupils will be learning to:

• Understand the concept of self-advocacy (speaking up for their needs in respectful ways)
• Develop empathy and perspective-taking skills through classroom scenarios
• Recognise how people’s behaviour can affect others’ thoughts, feelings and actions
• Begin to see themselves as connected, valued participants in their classroom community

Ways to Support Learning at Home:

• Noticing and celebrating small moments of speaking up. When your child expresses a need or feeling, let them know you have heard them. Every child is different and small steps also count.
• Creating low-pressure opportunities to share opinions and feelings. Ask your child what they think or how they feel about everyday things. This builds confidence in a safe, familiar setting.
• Using ‘Look, Think, Decide’ when situations arise naturally. If your child mentions something tricky, gently ask, "What did you notice? What did you think? What did you decide?”
• Spot their strengths. Tell your child one thing they are really good at doing, or something they have done that made you proud. Hearing this from a parent or carer can make a big difference to how a child feels about themselves.

Examples of books include:

• Speak Up for Yourself by Bryan Smith
• What Do You Think? by Matthew Syed
• You Are a Champion by Marcus Rashford
• Quiet Riot: True Tales of Shy Superheroes Who Changed the World by Nadia Finer

Copyright Information

© Northumbria University, 2026

Developed by Fiona Nicholls. fiona.m.nicholls@northumbria.ac.uk

This material is provided for educational and non-commercial use only. You may share, distribute, and reproduce this content for educational purposes, provided proper attribution is given. Commercial use, modification, or sale of this material is prohibited without prior written permission from the copyright holder.